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My fellow people, A disturbing situation has arisen in our world today. It affects us one and all, leaving no life untouched. Many of you already know of this problem and share my concerns for our future. I am writing this letter to inform you all that there is a solution. Every last one of you is going to have to suck me off. Now, I realize many of you may question the effectiveness of this proposal, so I wish to alleviate your fears. I can assure you that it is the only viable solution available. Starting immediately, everyone must suck me off. I take no pleasure in demanding this course of action, it simply needs to be done. You may ask, "What good will come of me sucking you off, good sir?" And I can tell you most assuredly that the world will be a better place for having done it. You, your brothers and sons and mothers and fathers, and especially your wives and daughters, will all be better people for having sucked me off. So please, for your sakes and mine, come here and suck me off. Just kneel down there and open your mouth and suck. And don't forget to tongue my nuts while you're at it. In closing: suck me off. Thank you and God bless, Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester |